A New Beginning....

So here I am back again! My first blog (missynadm) got hacked and corrupted and my 2nd WordPress blog got deleted by GoDaddy, and as i didn't know to back up any of my blog posts I completely lost everything! It was definitely a hard pill to swallow. So I'm hoping now that this will be third time lucky for me, back with another blogger account. 

In a nutshell, it has been a very difficult couple of years for me, with stuff going on in my personal life and with my health. I found myself feeling extremely anxious all of the time and overwhelmed on every social media platform, with Instagram being the biggest problem. I decided to delete over 90% of my IG photos and took a much-needed step back from being online. I distanced myself from online friendships and anyone or anything that caused me stress or anxiety. As I sat back and watched a community that's supposed to be based around 'beauty', fall apart and rear its ugly side, i soon lost the passion to want to blog or even be part of the beauty community. Every time I logged in to blog or to upload a photo I became overwhelmed with anxiety and before I knew it a year had gone by without me writing a thing. Soon the anxiety consumed my entire life and I decided to seek professional help. After months I received a diagnosis that would alter my life forever. It was then I realised I really had to put myself first and really work on improving both my mental and physical health.


Taking the time to step back and relax has truly helped me wonders, and though I still live with anxiety every day for the first time in years I feel more like my true self. Not who others think I should be. I overhauled my life, and though I still have a long way to go, I accept that I will never fully be alright, and that's ok with me.

I rediscovered past love's and also discovered new passions. I no longer feel the need to fit into a stereotypical mould on social media or overthink and promote stuff that gets me the most views and likes. If my photo gets 10 likes, at least I know its a true representation of who I am, rather than what others want to see. It's so easy for us to get disheartened when we don't receive the likes or attention from strangers online, but what you see online is NOT real! It's just a highlight reel of what people want the world to see, it's no surprise mental health problems are at an all-time high! I don't feel the need to fit into a certain community, because I am more than just that label. I have more to offer than just a new product release review and over-filtered selfie. The only opinions that should matter should be how I view myself and that of those who are closest to me because they are the only people who know me personally. I miss how this beauty community was 6 years ago when we were all about uplifting and truly supporting each other, but I know now that that world has gone. Once I let go of all the pressure and stopped caring about losing views or followers, I felt more at peace online and my passion for beauty and writing has been slowly creeping back.  

Obviously, there is nothing I can do about the direction the bloggersphere is going, but I do know one thing I can change, and that is my mindset and how 'I' feel every time I log online! Though I have experienced and been part of more than my fair share of negativity behind the scenes in the beauty community, I don't feel the need to become consumed by it, or spill the tea because what good is that going to do me? Instead, I am here to start a fresh, steer clear of negativity and continue being my optimistic self, enjoying fingers to keypad once again. I truly am looking forward to just posting what I truly enjoy on here, and I hope you will enjoy coming along on this journey with me.


Bisoux
Jamey xo